Déjà at The Hospital

Yesterday Mamapig  had to take A to see a specialist about an ongoing stomach issue. His office happens to be in the very same hospital that E, Papa Pig, and herself served their tour of duty in the NICU almost three years ago. While she have been back to the hospital more than a few times with E  for various office visits, this was the first time she have been there without him.

She was unprepared for the feelings that came over her upon entering that parking lot. If she were totally honest, even the drive was giving her a strong sense of déjà vu. She began telling A the story of how she made this exact drive every morning for almost a month. As they talked she found herself remembering how very difficult those times were and how it seems like a lifetime ago.

Entering the hospital and passing all those familiar sites; the gift shop where one of the nurses bought E a teddy bear; the stairs that led down to the cafeteria when the elevators were being used during peak visiting hours, even the bench on the forth floor where Mamapig spent many afternoons waiting for shift change to be done so that she could go back and take up residence in her favorite rocking chair, holding E, dreaming of the day they finally got released.

Until you have a child that must remain in the hospital while you head home, you don't realize how very difficult it can be.  Papa Pig and her entered that hospital in the middle of a Friday night excited about their beautiful daughter's impending birth. They could never have expected it would take twenty five days for her to make that journey home with them.

Being back there yesterday reminded Mamapig of the day they took the car-seat in for her car-seat test. Every child in the NICU must pass a car-seat test prior to being released. She can still recall the looks they got as they walked out of the hospital following the test with an empty car-seat. People automatically looked down to see the new arrival only to discover an empty seat. Some asked where the baby was, some just turned the other way unsure what was the proper thing to do. For those that seemed interested, they explained she was in the NICU, but that soon she would be heading home with them. The car-seat test was one step closer to those double doors out front.

After A's appointment she walked A down to the NICU to show her what they affectionately call E's "first home". She noticed that her favorite neonatologist was still on staff. Dr. S was by far the most amazing and caring doctor that she have ever met and he was a huge source of support for all of them. She was thrilled to know that he was still there helping other families through one of the  most difficult times of their lives.

As she sit there trying to finish a post on her blog and is constantly interrupted by E wanting her to "beep" her nose, she is once again reminded that they  are one of the lucky families. There are those that never get the joy of walking out those double doors with their baby safely in their car-seat heading home at last. Yesterday brought back many emotions, not the least was absolute joy that she have her little girl here to end her blogs suddenly.

Sometimes déjà vu reminds us of just how far we have come.