A Test of Intimacy and Growth

Select a few of your closest relationships with friends or lovers, and take a look at how these relationships affect your growth as an individual and in the relationship.

Write down your reactions to the following questions:

- Are both of us improved by this relationship?

- Does this relationship stimulate each of us to change and grow in a desirable direction?

- Do both of us maintain other interests and meaningful relationships outside this one?

- If lovers, are we also friends?

- Does each of us have a need to give as well as to receive love?

- Can we experience intimacy without giving up our individuality?

- Does each of us feel worthwhile as a person apart from this relationship?

You will probably find that most of your intimate relationship are neither extremely healthy nor dependent and addictive, but a combination of both. Hopefully, this exercise will help you become more aware of the differences between these two types of relationships.